My dad

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Re: My dad

Postby Oh Dear » Tue May 15, 2018 6:14 am

Fuck them off when it's over with. Sounds like they won't be missed.

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Re: My dad

Postby Damie Karras » Tue May 15, 2018 6:20 am

Yeah I will, like I said apart from arguing with them a few weeks ago they hadn’t spoke to me in nearly 18 months all because I got a good job.
I’m used to life without them and this week has just shown me how much of a wedge is between us.

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Re: My dad

Postby Oh Dear » Tue May 15, 2018 6:42 am

Sounds like you won't miss them mate. Fuck it.

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Re: My dad

Postby Damie Karras » Wed May 16, 2018 3:52 am

Well it’s all over
I’ve had an hours kip since leaving the pub so it’s the sobering reality of it all now.
There was a good turn out for him.
Once the formalities were over I done my best to keep my distance from everyone. Sat with a few of my friends, mingled when my brothers were off.
Then as people start leaving it became harder to avoid them. There was 2 cousins over from Bradford, I might have met them before but I don’t recall. They were at the other end of the pub away from people I was comfortable around. One of my brothers calls us (brothers & sister) down to have a drink with them.
As we stood there I thought fuck this, I walked back to my table and told the Mrs we were going.
A few handshakes and goodbyes as I left the pub when I got to the door my 2 brothers (pisssed at this stage) were giving it the big fella act outside to these cousins.
I turned and walked to my car without a word.

That’s it now, finished with the lot

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Re: My dad

Postby Oh Dear » Wed May 16, 2018 3:57 am

Sounds like a good idea to me.

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Re: My dad

Postby Damie Karras » Wed May 16, 2018 4:06 am

Sister just text
We went back to his local afterwards and sat the pictureframe and photo on his regular table were his mates were sitting.
Sister has just text to say the pub asked to keep the photo and hang it over his table

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Re: My dad

Postby Oh Dear » Wed May 16, 2018 4:11 am

That's a nice touch. You don't get that often in pubs, so he must have been well thought of.

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Re: My dad

Postby Lap » Wed May 16, 2018 7:24 am

Don’t focus on the brothers tonight man. More fitting to recall the good times with your Dad . Sounds like he got a proper send off .. well done . Now take a break , you need it.

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Re: My dad

Postby Damie Karras » Wed May 16, 2018 7:36 am

I’ve been on a break work wise anyway
I need to get my head back focused

A lot of the Bosses from Shetland were there today, fair play to them
“You’ll have a job on Teesside” when it starts...

Genuinely thinking of permanently upping sticks this time

I’ve emailed both interviews I had last week tonight to see if there’s any progress. If not I guess I’ll be living in Redcar soon

Nothing here for me or my family now, a plot in a graveyard and her diabolical bastard of a sister around the corner

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Re: My dad

Postby Damie Karras » Thu May 17, 2018 6:26 am

Image

:hmm:

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Re: My dad

Postby Le Cut Inside Mane » Thu May 17, 2018 6:47 am

:icon_lol: :adore:

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Re: My dad

Postby Damie Karras » Fri May 25, 2018 5:28 am

I’m not coping with this at all. Constantly crying, I get overwhelmed almost everyday I forget he’s gone and think oh I’ll ring him now, then it dawns on me.

My sister has been at me constantly to get us all together to go through his stuff. I’m refusing because he hasn’t anything valuable or personal that I want and going through his clothes and stuff is basically clearing out the house for my brother...he wanted him out, he’s got him out now let him clean it out.

She’s put a deadline on of Saturday morning
I’m still not going

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Re: My dad

Postby Le Cut Inside Mane » Fri May 25, 2018 6:10 am

I've never lost a family member especially one of my parents so I can't even try to think of what you're going through losing both parents. Keep your chin up mate.

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Re: My dad

Postby L8rb@se » Fri May 25, 2018 7:30 am

This stuff is always most messed up right in the aftermath, then the ripples take time to settle. Be strong, calm and resolute :icon_thumbsup:

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Re: My dad

Postby Damie Karras » Fri May 25, 2018 7:44 am

I am

But I’m also being hit with this guilt “you should be there” “you might find something you want” “we (my sister) don’t want to do it without you it wouldn’t be right”

I know deep down I probably/morally should go through his stuff before it’s chucked, sent to charity shop or passed as hand-me-downs
But everything that’s happened is too much
I’m not being bitter about my Da dying heartbreaking as it is at the moment it’s how life goes

I am bitter about how I was treated personally.
How my dad spent his final weeks with homelessness hanging over him. And the running around that involved

I’ll probably fall out with my sister over the next few days but I don’t know what she expects?

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Re: My dad

Postby Oh Dear » Fri May 25, 2018 7:10 pm

Have to admit Dub, you've had some right shit luck these last few years.

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Re: My dad

Postby Lap » Sat May 26, 2018 8:26 am

But you've a good kid , a great wife and a dog who won't trouble you. Not to mention you're excellent and varied CV

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Re: My dad

Postby Damie Karras » Sat May 26, 2018 8:32 am

Have you seen my CV?

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Re: My dad

Postby Oh Dear » Sat May 26, 2018 8:57 am

It's certainly varied.

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Re: My dad

Postby Damie Karras » Mon May 28, 2018 7:43 am

There was an annual religious thing on today I know most of you don’t value that sort of thing
“The Blessings of the Graves” basically a mass on a flatbed truck with a PA system spread around the graveyard - I know, I know very Fr Ted.

Anyway it’s sort of a big deal here, especially the first one and considering he’s only been dead 2 weeks.
It was well known in my family this was on today.

My wife and I got there on time despite severe traffic around the graveyard. A couple of rows over was my Da’s best mates wife at her own family grave, she’s one of the biggest gossips in the area.
Further on is my Da’s nieces family, I may have wrote about her dying in the Jeremy Kyle thread. She died about 2 months ago and I skipped the funeral because I didn’t want to see my brothers. They were of course good enough to pay their respects to my Dad.


So we’re there, his friends and family are there/nearby
My sister arrives with my younger brother and his family with about 10 minutes to go.
No sign of my other 2 brothers who I’m not getting on with, bad form but suited me. But can’t help thinking his friends wife especially will gossip as will his family.
Again fuck them the more people know they are arseholes the better imho.


So my lad has come in this evening from a Chinese buffet with his mates. My brother, the one evicting my dad was there full of drink, being loud and obnoxious and insulting to my boy.
These are 17 year old lads, gym, football, boxing, mma, but above all they are decent young men who keep busy with sport and school.

My brother said something to of the bigger lads who squared up to him and then got the group thrown out of the restaurant :picardfacepalm:


Couldn’t make it to the blessings but went out and got pissed, made his way past the graveyard to a chinky about 15km from him, was obnoxious to his nephew and got in a row with a 17 year old :picardfacepalm:

And I’m the one who has been alienated in the family because I spoke up :4hvvmagme0:


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